How to Support Someone Who’s Struggling Through the Holidays

The holiday season is often pictured as a time of joy, gatherings, and celebration, but for many people, it can be a challenging and emotionally heavy time. Stress, grief, loneliness, financial pressures, and mental health struggles can make the season feel overwhelming. If someone you know is struggling, your support can make a meaningful difference. At Peer Support Alliance of North Dakota, we understand the value of compassionate listening and validation, and we want to help you offer genuine support without unintentionally causing harm.

1. Start With Compassionate Listening

One of the most powerful ways to support someone is simply by listening. Compassionate listening means giving your full attention, putting aside judgment, and allowing someone to express themselves freely.

• Make eye contact and show that you are present.

• Use small verbal cues like “I hear you” or “That sounds really tough.”

• Avoid interrupting or offering immediate solutions—sometimes, people just need to be heard.

Listening in this way builds trust and helps your friend or loved one feel less isolated during the holidays.

2. Validate Their Feelings

It’s common for people to respond to someone’s struggles with phrases like, “Don’t worry, it will get better,” or “Just cheer up.” While well-intentioned, these statements can unintentionally minimize feelings. Instead, validate their emotions:

• Acknowledge their pain: “I can see this is really hard for you right now.”

• Avoid comparisons: Everyone’s struggles are unique. Saying “I know how you feel” can feel dismissive unless you truly share the same experience.

• Respect their emotions: There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel during the holidays.

Validation shows empathy and reassures the person that their feelings are real and important.

3. Avoid Common Pitfalls

Supporting someone doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. In fact, there are common missteps to watch out for:

• Don’t force them to socialize: Invitations are fine, but pressure can increase stress.

• Avoid clichés: Phrases like “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” can feel dismissive to someone who is struggling.

• Don’t compare struggles: Each person’s mental health journey is unique. Avoid comparing grief, stress, or loneliness to others.

Being aware of these pitfalls helps create a safe and respectful environment for the person you are supporting.

4. Offer Practical Support

Sometimes, small gestures of practical support can make a big difference:

• Check in regularly with calls or messages.

• Help with holiday errands or tasks if they feel overwhelmed.

• Share resources such as local mental health hotlines, peer support groups, or community events.

Even small actions can remind someone that they are not alone.

5. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting someone through a difficult time can be emotionally demanding. Make sure you also prioritize self-care:

• Set healthy boundaries.

• Seek support from friends, family, or peer support networks.

• Remember that you can offer empathy without taking on all of someone else’s emotional burden.

  
  

The holidays can be a tough season, but with empathy, patience, and mindful support, you can help someone feel seen, heard, and valued. Remember, it’s not about fixing their struggles—it’s about showing up, listening, and validating their experience.

At Peer Support Alliance of North Dakota, we are committed to fostering connection, understanding, and hope across our communities. If you or someone you know is feeling isolated or overwhelmed this holiday season, reach out. Together, we can make the season a little brighter.